Sometimes your like. Damn. That me. Other times your like god damn. That’s me.
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
"it’s what’s inside that makes you beautiful"
*the demon possessing my body blushes*
People will stop showing you pictures of their kids if you whisper “oh fuck yea” under your breath when you look at their photos.
damn, i just got SERVED. by my waitress. this restaurant is excellent.
*opens jacket* hey u wanna buy some oh jesus fuck it’s cold *closes jacket*
If I ever doubt myself I just ask “WWDDOOTDDD?”
(What Would Doug Dimmadome Owner Of The Dimmsdale Dimmadome Do?)