seereezy:

manager: sir your resume just says “good looking and talented”

me: am I lying though?

manager: …youre right, Im sorry youre hired

grinderman2:

me in high school: omg cant wait for college
me in college: omg cant wait for the 10 years between retirement and the cold embrace of the grave

fowler08:

howab0utn0:

"nobody fucking helps me in this house"

fowler08:

howab0utn0:

"nobody fucking helps me in this house"

xensin:

LOOK AT ITS LITTLE DOUBLE CHIN

xensin:

LOOK AT ITS LITTLE DOUBLE CHIN

my-jurisdiction:

WHY AM I STILL LAUGHING

“Hipster economics are standard economics because hipsters are everything the US economy has ever wished for in one convenient package. It’s a group consisting largely of young, upper-middle class people with very little conviction, who will spend large amounts of money to maintain their own comfort and the appearance of diversity and rebellion. They are activists as long as it’s easy, poor as long as it doesn’t involve dirt or hunger, and selfless as long as they don’t stand to lose anything. They represent the sanitizing of national issues so that they can be discussed without being addressed. And all you have to do to control them is use some reverse psychology. They’re not rebels, they’re not even malicious, because they’re not anything except a bunch of kids playing pretend. They’ll eventually grow up and become bankers, lawyers and politicians, just like their parents…”

– Top comment by “Robert” on The Peril of Hipster Economics (via zahgurim)

shisnojon:

champainemami:

If any of u are vegetarian send me some recipes or something

lettuce